10. “Okay, gang in order to keep people believing in me, I want all of you to dress like me and go hang out with Elvis and Bigfoot.” Jesus spoke to Thomas JOHN 20:29 "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
9. “It’s okay people if you stand by and do nothing while others mock me, my church, and the Kingdom. You don’t have to stand firm in your faith.” Matthew 5:11-12 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
8. “Dang! Ms. Rosh Hashanah 32 BC is fine!” Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
7. “Aw, crap, I was kidding! I can’t save anyone!” John 11:25-26 "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26 and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.
6. “What? I have to go and do what on that cross? No way, Daddy-o!” John 12:27-28 "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name!"
5. “I am the Lord! Wash my feed, pour me a drink, and do my nails!” Mark 10:45 “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
4. “Go on, everybody! It’s a free-for-all party! You can love God if you want to. You can love an eight limbed god, the invisible man and or a walking cheeseburger! It’s all good!” Mark 12:30 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
3. “Please, demon, come on out of that man. Please with sugar on top.” Luke 4:35 "Be quiet!" Jesus said sternly. "Come out of him!" Then the demon threw the man down before them all and came out without injuring him.
2. After saving Mary from death by stoning: “It’s okay. Next time you hook up, lock the door.” John 8:11 "Go now and leave your life of sin."
1. “Heaven is waiting for everybody! Belief in any god will do! John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
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